Welcome To Our World

A Grand Day Out

2008-02-09T13:18:00.000-08:00

Wow, has summer arrived already? What a beautiful day it's been, we had a lovely hack to celebrate. Actually it was mum slaves idea, I for one was perfectly happy sunbathing and munching but thats humans for you!

Off we go up the lane with an onboard shot of me

Hurry up you two....I haven't got all day you know.

I thought we'd go left today.........sometimes it's shorter!

And onto the common and up the hill....whose idea was this then...hills.....do you realise how many chocolates dad slave has been munching?

A big tree

My turn to lead the way....oops mind the puddle...wouldn't want to get my boots wet and dirty now would I?

Oh no it's the Crocodile!...is it after haffys for tea today I wonder? (And more to the point will dad slave squeal?)

I'm not scared of crocodiles any more! I'm such a brave boy!

A quick break for the poser to pose

Nearly home now....I think can smell my tea...hope no ones pinched my hay while we've been gone.

I'm a bit sweaty after that, I know I'll have a roll

Ah much better....what do you mean I need grooming again now.......

Teatime - at last!

Think we've earned it too!

MONSTERS....................

2008-02-01T11:19:00.000-08:00

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Theres a monster....it's up the lane on the other side of the hedge and keeps saying it's going to get us....so if you don't hear from us in a while you know why.

Mum slave won't believe us...she says it's a dustbin lid...but did she go and catch it I ask you....of course she bloody didn't because it's a monster (and even humans are scared of them)!

And the winner is......

2008-01-26T10:42:00.000-08:00

Me of course!

What have I been up you ask...well I have only gone and won the world fence pulling down championships with 3 days in a row and only six posts left standing on one occasion.

***** takes a bow*******

I decided to go for it last Tuesday...the grass on the other side of the electric fence looked so juicy...eat me, eat me it was calling......so what's a boy to do? The fence only gives you a quick bite and then it's okay but old wuss features declined eating the grass even after I pulled nearly the entire fence on the floor for him. Said he wasn't hungry....thought it might get him really but I went along with it...more for me that way!

Mum slave was a little cross when i greeted her at the gate, you'd have thought she'd have pleased at the welcoming committee but rather she stamped and screamed and generally had a tantrum, something about being pitch black and late for work????? Murph stood there looking very smug (behind the tape) and sucking up by pretending he was shocked at what I had done......but I know he wishes he was brave enough. to do it too. Eventually she untangled it and found all the posts I had scattered about and finally left us in peace.

I decided that the following morning was not a good time to repeat as the screaming is too much at those early hours so waited till mid afternoon and pulled down the edge fence, which reinforces the fence to the veg field. It didn't take her as long to sort out and as I hadn't done a Houdini I didn't get in trouble that night...and as i was on a roll i decided to go for the hat trick and pull the electric down that separates the little paddock from us...again there is a fence but 'someone' once leaned over it to eat grass so up went the biting tape....if I could get my hooves on that chappie...LOL

A little more tantruming followed and threats of 'THE PEN' so i thought it best to let it settle for a while before my next record attempt. However I am grabbing hold of posts and the tape at every opportunity when slaves are around (they seem able to stop it biting) just to let them know there will be a next time...does anyone know what 'wired up to the mains' means as i keep hearing references to it? All answers on a postcard please to Harry and Murph's field (and accompanied by a carrot or two).

Meanwhile back to my punishment..................and I thought this was the whole providing of having slaves..........and bringing us food of course. Never mind maybe I will win the poo picking championships too?

SLAVES -please take note!

2008-01-19T13:20:00.000-08:00

Today we have a little reminder for all those 'slaves' out there what wonderful therapy we are (and not just expensive eating and pooing machines as some dad's are heard to say).

When your day seems out of balance
and so many things go wrong
when people fight around you
and the day drags on so long

When parents act like children
in-laws make you think divorce
go out into your pasture
wrap your arms around your horse

His gentle breath enfolds you
as he watches with those eyes
he may not have a PHD
but he is oh so wise

His head rests on your shoulder
you embrace him good and tight
he put your world in balance
and makes it seem all right

Your tears will soon stop flowing
the tension is now eased
the garbage has been lifted
you ll be quiet and at peace

So when you need the balance
from circumstances in your day
the best therapy you can see
is out there chomping hay

(author unknown as borrowed this from a post on a forum because we like it)

2008-01-13T03:01:00.000-08:00

Or should that be field manners? Good stable manners are very important if you and your slave are going to get along. From the moment they begin 'serving' you you must establish firm ground lines in order for both parties to get along.

1) It would be very rude not to enlighten your slave on your fave itching spots. A nudge and prod in the right direction is usually sufficient, but some humans (like my dad) sometimes need it spelling out and a sharp nip can work wonders if they get it wrong. A few nips and they soon learn you don't like having your ' ?' scratched.

2) The above nip technique also works well during grooming. If you have a well trained slave who does not resort to tying up, sloping off can be a useful trick too if you are kinder in nature than 'some other' equines.

3) Humans hate washing up and as they have not yet invented those 'washer thingy's' for buckets as yet, so save your human a job by destroying the offending item as soon as all the food is gone. They will enjoy choosing a new one and if your lucky will buy other goodies too.

4) Slaves love bringing us new things so make sure you destroy all rugs and anything else left lying around........then they can buy more!

5) Slaves must never be left out of games...it would just be so rude....they especially enjoy a good game of 'pile on' or 'squash'. They get so excited and squeal and everything!!!
Chase is also good but never tag as they haven't yet mastered anything faster than a trot so it's just too easy.

6) Slaves love cleaning up poo. Make sure it is spread evenly all over the field and you can prolong the fun for them by tipping the barrow over or waiting until it is empty to make a new pile. 'Hide the poo' is a game they love to play, they are very determined and will always search it out.

7) They also love cleaning us, so if you like being groomed...get as dirty as possible at every available opportunity, but if you prefer the natural look....do try to avoid that muddy patch or using a poo cushion and it will keep brushing to a minimum.

8) If your slave insists you spend a good proportion of your day in a cage then it's only fair they spend a good proportion of theirs chasing you round the field also.

9) Hay - if your slave is too slow providing or doesn't provide enough or you simply want to save them a job - it is expected that you help yourself. Covers come off best if ripped in several places and provide another shopping opportunity for slaves.

10) If your not a 'wuss' like someone knocking down/climbing over the electric fence can be a good source of new food and will provide your slave with some mind stimulation while replacing the fence afterwards. Top tip - use your whiskers to test if it's working or just push your slave against it and see if they yelp.

11) If a slave persistently annoys you follow the official discipline procedure

1) A short sharp nip

2) A short sharp nip followed by a stamp of feet

3) A swish of tail and flick of leg usually see's off most

4) A cow kick will get rid of rest

but if you've got a hard core pest (like my mum)

5) a quick turn and bunny hop with both back legs usually works a treat. Please be aware your human may try to distract you by scratching your bottom, DO NOT be side tracked, unless you need a good itch of course.

Occasionally it is necessary to skip steps 1 to 4 and immediately go to number 5.

12) Slaves need worming and other medicines too...always share yours willingly. Unless they taste yummy that is!

13) Slaves need regular exercise but are lazy. Refusing to allow them to mount while out and about can help and is a favoured method of exercising. Particularly useful if your slave needs to visit slimming world (just how many chocolates did you eat at Christmas dad?)

14) Lastly train your fan club slaves to bring you treats. The usual methods are by looking cute or by looking hungary. The advanced method is by making them feel special.....this is very easily achieved by trotting or cantering across field when you see them....and making happy to see you noises....whinny's through to wuffles.......they feel so special they can't help but keep coming back.

It does not do your slave harm to see this...it shows they have a rival for their job so will keep the standards up and throw in a treat or two of their own

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

2008-01-10T11:38:00.000-08:00

When I grow up I am going to be a hunter...official.

All those horses on Sunday looked like they were having a super time, I haven't been so excited since last years meet. I galloped and galloped and galloped and then I galloped some more. Even Murphy joined in so it must have been a special occasion! We even broke the field lap record three times!

There were new gates on the common when we went out too, Murphy says the hunters were going to jump them, they looked a bit scary to me but I have told mum I want to go next year and meanwhile I am practising lots by chasing Murphy round the field and will sort out the jumping bit later.

Those hunters have got nothing on me!

2007-12-31T11:34:00.000-08:00

Now everyone will know what a rotter I have to live with. Please take a moment and read why these situations occurred and the real truth about what happened.

What Murph omitted to say was I had only been being ridden for a few weeks when I met the crocodile and it was only the third or fourth time me and dad had ridden out, i didn't mean him to sit on the floor it just happened......now Murph did mean for mum to sit on the floor though and that's mean. The endurance horses well I had never met other horses our riding, it is usually so quiet where we go, and I just got startled at first. I thought they were running away from something bad, Murph says that being chased and playing are the only reasons for going faster than a walk, so how was I to know Endurance horses like to go faster? He's just a lazy lump, I think being an endurance horse looks good fun! Eating and chilling are great but they looked like they were having such fun.

The hedge cutter, well Murph was in front he couldn't hear the blades saying....were coming to get you......they stopped when they saw him and mum looking of course.

As for dad, well he did squeal on both the occasions but I forgive him because he dishes out the sweeties!

And surprise, surprise he didn't tell you about my fan (and carrot) club either, but I'm not going to brag and yes of course I even let him share the carrots. He is my best mate after all.

2007-12-31T10:42:00.000-08:00

"but it didn't hurt because haflingers are tough!"

What a joke....he wasn't so tough the time he thought a log was crocodile, when we met the endurance horses and when we met the hedge cutter I can tell you! Tough my hoof!

One day about a year or so ago we were calmly walking along when all of a sudden haffy features starts "squealing help, help a crocodiles going to get me!" Now you know as well as I do that there are no wild crocs in England but did that stop the fool? He spun round and tried and run away from said Crocodile (which looked suspiciously like a log to me) managing to part company with dad in doing so. Something I am grudgingly rather jealous of as all my attempts to loose my rider to date have failed. But dad was new to the riding game back then so of course it was much easier for him! Anyhow the silly fool came and hid behind me and that's when the Piers de Resistance occured. As mum jumped off to catch Harry I managed to jump into her just as she landed and knocked her over.... am I a star or am I star!

Once all reunited and with him being so 'Tough' it won't surprise you to hear that old haffy features had to hide behind me to pass the 'crocodile' with dad in between him and it. Even then he still tried to shove past me and run clear.

The Endurance horse episode was even better! Silly mum had got her timings wrong and suddenly a lovely quiet hack found us right slap bang in the middle of The Bahrain Cup, an FEI 160 km Endurance race ride. One minute I was quietly walking along enjoying the scenery while Harry and dad lagged behind, the next minute haffy features was galloping towards me like the hounds from hell were after him........of course yours truly could see this wasn't the case and it was just a few endurance horses trotting along but try telling him that.....it was down to me to save the day by blocking his way and giving him my very best glare of 'if you dare bump into me or barge through I'll sort you out later'. It worked a treat and they stopped, with dad still intact...although he dismounted rather quickly.....but then the silly fool decided he fancied being an endurance horse and wanted to take part in the race too and took ages to be persuaded otherwise. 160km when you could be eating and chilling at home, urggghhh, NO THANK YOU. Think mum has an endurance career in mind for me but we'll see, it's far too much like hard work and besides going faster than a walk means you can't admire the view. Oh did I mention that this time it was dad who squealed like a big girl....my mum nearly choked with laughter.

The hedge cutter was really a repeat incident of the endurance horses. It had been cutting the hedge all day, we could see it from our field, but once again haffy features decided to leg it and yours truly had to give the glare...and yes dad did squeal again...he's so embarrassing...I mean people i know heard him and everything...it doesn't do your field cred much good I can tell you.

2007-12-31T04:29:00.001-08:00

Well about time too!

Welcome, My name is Captain Murphster (well my dad says so anyhow) but you can call me Murph. I am an ISH, a TB/ID, although I didn't fancy being an eventer or jumper so concentrated on growing outwards rather than upwards but I am a horse (on tiptoes).

I was born on the last hill before the Pennine Way, which rather explains why I prefer the outdoor life to being locked in a cage (sorry stable). Fortunately my mum and dad know this and I am able to live outside and only use my house when I want to. They are good for getting away from flies you know. From my birth home I came straight to live with my human mum and dad, although at first I had to live on a yard with lots of other horses. I didn't like it all that much as I had to go in my cage at night when the man said so, which was rather a lot of the time. I am much happier now I live with Harry. Unlike Harry, who is a bit soft if you ask me, my equine mum taught me well. She said only do what you you want and I have strived very hard to do this. For some reason it made my mum quite cross at times, I can't think why? But she was quite easy to train really and we get along okay most of the time, if she forgets a gentle nip or a 'pack it in or I'll kick you' works wonders! And I'm quite easy going really and as long as people ask politely I will oblige but if there rude well...........they need to learn some manners. I keep telling Harry he needs to stand up for himself but he says he likes pleasing them, he won't believe me when I say mums and dads (aka slaves) should please us. I mean who is in charge of this relationship......I poo, they clear it up....there's your answer!

Welcome To Our World

2007-12-31T03:56:00.000-08:00

WELCOME TO OUR WORLD

I think we'd better start by introducing ourselves and as I'm oldest I will go first. My name is Harry and i'm a Haflinger.
Up until just over 3 years ago no one use to love me. I went from dealer to sale to dealer to sale until I hated people and the rough way they treat me so much I decided that I wouldn't let them touch me any more. Then I just got left in a big field with lots of other horses who came and went, (and a burnt out car or two), and no one came near me. My feet started to get very overgrown and cracked until it looked like I had very long cloven feet. Then one day some people came to see me, they wern't rough like the others but they went away after a while. Then a few days later the horrible rough man came and caught me and helped the nice people to 'bundle' me into yet another box on wheels. There was a big yummy haynet inside...I had never seen so much hay before and got down to some munching. The box stopped after a while and another horse came and joined me...he said oi your eating MY hay but I ignored him as I was rather hungry and you just didn't know when hay like this would be available again. The box on wheels set off again and my new friend Murphy was scared but I looked after him and told him it would stop eventually, I had been in rather a lot of these you see, but he kept shouting for his friends. Eventually it stopped and the nice people from before were there still and told me I was going to be called Harry and that this was to be our new home. It was very nice with lots of grass and hay and a bucket with yummy carrots and chop and alfa beet. Murphy kept telling me his mummy and daddy were very nice and not scary but I wasn't sure so I kept a good distance and only let them touch my head and shoulder sometimes. After a week I decided it was okay as long as they didn't go near my back end or feet and shortly after a man came and stuck a needle in me, but it didn't hurt because haflingers are tough! Then I started to feel very sleepy and a nasty man came and made me pick up my sore feet and he trimmed them until they felt much better, but I was very scared and fought a lot. The nice people came every day twice or sometimes more to see me and brought buckets of food, hay and lots of goodies too. I started to feel much better and decided they wern't so bad and after a few weeks I started to let them brush me and touch my front legs but the not back ones. The 'nasty' man who picked up my feet, and the one with the sleepy needle, kept coming but I still fought them because I was not sure. My dad had a funny stick with a glove on it and kept rubbing and prodding me with it until one day I got fed up and decided that if I let them touch my legs they might get rid of the silly stick, and I'm such a clever boy because it worked. My daddy then started putting me one of those funny disguises Murphy wore on too...It made me look blue and Murphy acted all strange but it made me feel warm and snuggly and Murphy realised it was me after a few mins...he is silly you know.I didn't let them pick up my back legs for quite a long time, because you see I was 6 and had lots of bad memories to forget, but after about 9 months I began to forget the bad times and got to quite like my mum and dad. Now they say I am a big teddy bear, what ever one of those is, and I like to follow them round and show my appreciation of them giving me a chance when no one else would by knocking over the barrow when it's full or by including them when we play chase and jump on each other (they pretend they don't like it when I do that, but I know they do really...who in their right mind dosen't enjoy that game I ask you? ). The man dosen't need to come and give me the sleepy needle anymore and I am a good boy when I have my feet trimmed and I don't think the farrier is a nasty man anymore. I always try to lean on him so he can build up his muscles and show how strong he is! My dad rides me now too and I try to be a good boy for him and look after him, like he looked after me, because I can tell he hasn't a clue and he lets me do as I please but I am too good to take advantage. Sometimes I get scared but my mum and Murphy try to keep monsters at bay for us. Murphy is very silly sometimes but he dosen't know what it is like to not be loved...sometimes he even tries to kick mum when he is cross with her....I think he is a bit mean but I love him so forgive him when he bites me too.....I never bite or kick now because I don't need to anymore and my mum and dad say I will live with them until I am an old man and Murphy is a grumpy old git!
Now you know my story I will go and eat some hay and let Murphy have his say.